I Have Changed My Pc Sid And

courage

On the morning of the thirtieth cycle day I wake up very late on. I slept long and deep, and feel physically fit. I listen come with me, and ask, how my heart, but I get no response. It is probably too early this morning. Well, I'll go first to the bathroom. When I look in the mirror, I see a pale Franka with swollen eye bags. Well, meal! Who wants to see that? While I dab special anti-aging gel on my eyes, I notice the slight headache that begins in the neck and across the back of my head to the front moves. With relish, I turn to my medicine cabinet, I'll take out a headache pill and swallow it down with a sip of water but great satisfaction. It also has advantages if you are not pregnant is!

When I anschmeißen my coffee to get me to brew a large cup of strong coffee and caffeine, and finally my heart speaks to me. Although it has also swollen eyes, but it has made peace with the result. has all negative thoughts, it screamed out yesterday and today is again room for some optimism. It was ultimately not our last attempt to support the health insurance. And somehow I can not imagine that I had all the signs of pregnancy only imagined. Of the other girls in the forums, I know it may take several attempts before it works. I decide to have go to the doctor even when my period starts. I have so many questions that only he can answer me.

The only thing the doctor can not take me, my loneliness. This idea put my heart again a sting and my stomach knotted itself. I take out my journal and start writing down my feelings of yesterday. Since then, I think, helps me to write to see things more clearly. If I want to write down what oppresses me, I have to sort the issues first, structure, find the right words and their own arguments. If my fears, my anger or my sadness then there are black and white, they are not as hard on my Heart. So when I had them stored on an external hard drive.

Without the feeling gloomy fog of yesterday, now I try again reasonable to think about what I could do if we really get no children. Suddenly the thought flashed through my head that will change my life. Of course! I will write. I will write about the desire to have children, but not in my diary, but in an internet blog. It could all the women who stuck in the same location help, better to get through this emotional time. I will create a Facebook profile and probably know a lot of people learn to deal with the issue of infertility. Then I would probably no longer so alone. And who knows, if people like my lyrics, maybe throw 'I then point my job and become a writer!

Electrified by the idea I rush to my computer and put a free blog at a major search engine providers. How could mean the blog? I think, "Not Pregnant!" would be appropriate. I begin to write.

end.

What Is A Brazilion Wax

The pain

The last two hours until closing time, I still spend. Inside I'm empty. At the moment I leave the office building, is simply the best I tear down my face. I called my husband right after the conversation with the fertility clinic. He said he's sorry. But I do not think he suffers like me. I could yell at him, he would be here now. I feel so alone.

was automated as I was in my car and start the engine. The fertility clinic did their job. I know that there is no guarantee of success. However, I feel it is inhumane, that the performance of the hospital after the telephone to have been delivered to the negative result ends. I'm upset about the fact that there is no debriefing. I get no explanation of what went wrong, no details on the blood values. It would me now Help to think along with the doctor what you can do better next time or do differently. I need a perspective that gives me courage. I'm not a psychologist, I can appeal to the. In addition, a psychologist knows my medical records do not and I could not tell if I next time more progesterone, FSH more should treat (follicle stimulating hormone) or more rest.

When I'm home, I put off my coat and just throw me on the bed. I start to cry so bitterly, as rarely in my life. In my head the thoughts are on the negative blood result, and with it comes fear never return get their children. The expected date of birth 07/07/2011 beats out now back twice. On this day, no children are born, not of me. I'm afraid that my life will be empty without children and that I am at the age alone. WHAT SHOULD I LIVE?

I think of the sweet faces of the children of my friends and I rips my heart that I may never see the sweet face of my own child. Across the street from our apartment is a kindergarten. Every morning, stressed parents pull their children out there sweet. Sometimes the children stay there all day, because the parents plan to do something better in the afternoon. Shopping, drinking coffee, play golf. I could puke.

I look at the clock. It's been eight. "Where exactly is my man and how he can me so let alone for long? Our love is strong enough? Are his feelings strong enough for me to get through this time. If the two of us enough when we have children?" My eyes are quite swollen and I get headaches from crying.

An hour later I'm still alone. Why my husband is not with me? WHY IS NOT TALKING WITH ME BECAUSE OF? I want to scream and destroy anything. My relationship, my career, a vase, myself

at 22:30 clock he comes. When he enters the bedroom, I do not move me. I know I should not yell at him. He has no guilt and I love him. That is why I say nothing. I cry. My weeping has become a scream. A cry that shows my desperation. He hugs me. He whispers tenderly my name. Finally, when I've calmed down a bit again, I say: "I feel so alone."

Totally exhausted I fall asleep around midnight.

(Continued )