I Have Changed My Pc Sid And

courage

On the morning of the thirtieth cycle day I wake up very late on. I slept long and deep, and feel physically fit. I listen come with me, and ask, how my heart, but I get no response. It is probably too early this morning. Well, I'll go first to the bathroom. When I look in the mirror, I see a pale Franka with swollen eye bags. Well, meal! Who wants to see that? While I dab special anti-aging gel on my eyes, I notice the slight headache that begins in the neck and across the back of my head to the front moves. With relish, I turn to my medicine cabinet, I'll take out a headache pill and swallow it down with a sip of water but great satisfaction. It also has advantages if you are not pregnant is!

When I anschmeißen my coffee to get me to brew a large cup of strong coffee and caffeine, and finally my heart speaks to me. Although it has also swollen eyes, but it has made peace with the result. has all negative thoughts, it screamed out yesterday and today is again room for some optimism. It was ultimately not our last attempt to support the health insurance. And somehow I can not imagine that I had all the signs of pregnancy only imagined. Of the other girls in the forums, I know it may take several attempts before it works. I decide to have go to the doctor even when my period starts. I have so many questions that only he can answer me.

The only thing the doctor can not take me, my loneliness. This idea put my heart again a sting and my stomach knotted itself. I take out my journal and start writing down my feelings of yesterday. Since then, I think, helps me to write to see things more clearly. If I want to write down what oppresses me, I have to sort the issues first, structure, find the right words and their own arguments. If my fears, my anger or my sadness then there are black and white, they are not as hard on my Heart. So when I had them stored on an external hard drive.

Without the feeling gloomy fog of yesterday, now I try again reasonable to think about what I could do if we really get no children. Suddenly the thought flashed through my head that will change my life. Of course! I will write. I will write about the desire to have children, but not in my diary, but in an internet blog. It could all the women who stuck in the same location help, better to get through this emotional time. I will create a Facebook profile and probably know a lot of people learn to deal with the issue of infertility. Then I would probably no longer so alone. And who knows, if people like my lyrics, maybe throw 'I then point my job and become a writer!

Electrified by the idea I rush to my computer and put a free blog at a major search engine providers. How could mean the blog? I think, "Not Pregnant!" would be appropriate. I begin to write.

end.

What Is A Brazilion Wax

The pain

The last two hours until closing time, I still spend. Inside I'm empty. At the moment I leave the office building, is simply the best I tear down my face. I called my husband right after the conversation with the fertility clinic. He said he's sorry. But I do not think he suffers like me. I could yell at him, he would be here now. I feel so alone.

was automated as I was in my car and start the engine. The fertility clinic did their job. I know that there is no guarantee of success. However, I feel it is inhumane, that the performance of the hospital after the telephone to have been delivered to the negative result ends. I'm upset about the fact that there is no debriefing. I get no explanation of what went wrong, no details on the blood values. It would me now Help to think along with the doctor what you can do better next time or do differently. I need a perspective that gives me courage. I'm not a psychologist, I can appeal to the. In addition, a psychologist knows my medical records do not and I could not tell if I next time more progesterone, FSH more should treat (follicle stimulating hormone) or more rest.

When I'm home, I put off my coat and just throw me on the bed. I start to cry so bitterly, as rarely in my life. In my head the thoughts are on the negative blood result, and with it comes fear never return get their children. The expected date of birth 07/07/2011 beats out now back twice. On this day, no children are born, not of me. I'm afraid that my life will be empty without children and that I am at the age alone. WHAT SHOULD I LIVE?

I think of the sweet faces of the children of my friends and I rips my heart that I may never see the sweet face of my own child. Across the street from our apartment is a kindergarten. Every morning, stressed parents pull their children out there sweet. Sometimes the children stay there all day, because the parents plan to do something better in the afternoon. Shopping, drinking coffee, play golf. I could puke.

I look at the clock. It's been eight. "Where exactly is my man and how he can me so let alone for long? Our love is strong enough? Are his feelings strong enough for me to get through this time. If the two of us enough when we have children?" My eyes are quite swollen and I get headaches from crying.

An hour later I'm still alone. Why my husband is not with me? WHY IS NOT TALKING WITH ME BECAUSE OF? I want to scream and destroy anything. My relationship, my career, a vase, myself

at 22:30 clock he comes. When he enters the bedroom, I do not move me. I know I should not yell at him. He has no guilt and I love him. That is why I say nothing. I cry. My weeping has become a scream. A cry that shows my desperation. He hugs me. He whispers tenderly my name. Finally, when I've calmed down a bit again, I say: "I feel so alone."

Totally exhausted I fall asleep around midnight.

(Continued )

Birthday Cake Template Motorbike

The result

The twenty-ninth day of the cycle * clock begins at five in the morning because I wake in the night troubled by a dream on. I usually sleep through. That makes me realize how much I really the whole thing with it. I must have dreamed of a negative result.

sit at eight clock in the morning I turn in the waiting room of the fertility clinic. I have stopped me to look at the other patients, but usually throw myself directly to the gala. When one morning early enough to draw blood goes, you get the result on the same day. When my turn came, the nice assistant asks, "You are today the pregnancy test, right?" and gives me a promising smile. "Yes, exactly." I give back a little hesitant. The blood sample has already become routine. I give my phone number still fast from under which I can be reached if the outcome is and go to work for now.

In the next two hours I answer my emails. It is the last quiet hours that day. About twelve clock I get nervous because the call from the fertility clinic may now come at any moment. I hope I do not sit in a meeting or a colleague myself involved in a conversation when my phone rings. For two hours I stare at my phone and expect that it will show 'Stranger Calls' on the display. Nothing. Now I must, on a date. I leave my phone just lay on the desk and walk off. If I am called, I see that finally after and can then call back easily. When I look for the appointment on my phone, it still has no 'missed call' register. At four clock I decide, even in the fertility clinic to call.

I am looking for a quiet office and select the number of the fertility clinic.

"fertility clinic. What can I do for you?"

"Hello, my name is Frank Fruity. I was this morning's blood test for pregnancy test and wanted to ask whether you have the results?". I realize that I am totally short of breath. I take a deep breath.

"One moment please, I look for a moment. What is your date of birth?"

"First January 1972. "I say short. It cracks in the pipe. The lady of the fertility clinic I was probably set to silent. Then it is back.

" So, I checked. The test result is unfortunately negative. "

I say nothing.

" I'm sorry, Mrs Fruity. "

My brain seems to be empty. My heart is pounding. When I could lose but still a" elicit positive, "or as if the lady to help me with the situation work around, I ask them: "And what do I do now"

"Have you still frozen embryos?"

"Yes," I say

"Then you set. contact now taking antibiotics. If your blood begins to make Just a date for the ultrasound. Maybe you can do it the same in the next cycle to try again. "The lady is very quiet and sensitive, but I hate them right now.

I bring forth only a cough.

The Lady of the fertility clinic goodbye politely puts on and keep your job. I hang up and a world collapses.

( continuation )

It * I'm sorry, I missed in the calculation of days. The blood test was actually on the 30th day of the cycle . It is usually made two weeks after the transfer.

90s Leotards For Sale

imagination and excuses

The twenty-seventh Cycle seems to begin just as the twenty-sixth left off without breast tenderness. Unlike yesterday, when I ran over to the toilet often, I grab my day constantly on the breast. Yeah, it turned a little when I reach my chest, but it is still the clear breast tenderness of yesteryear?

, to make things that I'm sitting in the office. I can not repeatedly attack the chest as I like. I would also like to check out my nipple color. Is really still as dark as the day before? As my colleague who sits next to me disappear for a meeting that I take the opportunity true. I reach into my blouse, sliding up my chest and nipple and controlling court. Hmmm. My brain tells me that the nipple looks quite normal, but my heart kept telling myself that there are still brown spots on the areola. Were these dark places before already? I get no results, exhort myself, just waiting for the blood test in two days and my blouse buttons again.

Although the thing with the breasts makes me suspicious, I think positive. Finally, my period has not used and it also feels to not sound like it would be the day change. A drawing in the belly I had In recent days, not more. I've given up on the forums to search for what that might mean. There can mean everything.

In the evening we meet with neighbors. We usually bring them in this cute gathering a delicious wine. An hour before the meeting, I ask myself, what I can now use as an excuse that I do not drink alcohol. "I have to drive." for visits in the neighborhood rather poor. "I just got drunk enough." fit only if one starts at the weekend. "I take antibiotics and therefore may not drink alcohol." works well with people who tell me not well know. People who knew me better dig deeper, however, because I've never in my life been so sick that I had a doctor prescribed an antibiotic. I would like to say: "I may be pregnant and therefore I would not drink any alcohol." but must expect that the neighbor asks in two weeks if it worked. Then I can really do without that, the blood test should be negative. When we finally sit at the neighbors in the comfortable living room, I decide to spontaneously: "Thank you, no red wine for me today, my stomach acid can not tolerate at the moment." Despite this lie, it is a warm and happy evening.

(Continued )

Jyp Entertainment Audition Questions

Franka and the toilet

The twenty-sixth day of the cycle consists mainly of Klobesuchen. I panic that my day starts bleeding. My shortest cycles last twenty-six days, hence the excitement. Shortly after getting my I felt that blood running in my underwear. I rush to the toilet and look after. Because it is only the vaginal progesterone introduced, from which a little run in my panty liner, I'm calmed temporarily. But still a bad feeling.

At noon, including the shock. When I looked for a small business wipe your butt, have fresh blood in the toilet paper. I take that into consideration, but the actual information has not arrived in my brain. I bleed, which means I'm not pregnant! Again and again, I brush off my butt. Yes, there is blood. Surely that can not be true!

slow and even as I sit on the toilet to collect my thoughts again. Wait, why is there really fresh blood. Yet no period begins! I'm still sitting with his pants down on the toilet now and check again carefully and very careful where it comes from the blood. Then I have to laugh suddenly. I have on my twenty-sixth day of the cycle as often rubbed his bottom, that I seem a small wound was drawn.

The afternoon will be a little more relaxed and when I am closing time, I am convinced that I no longer get my period. In the evening I have a date with a girlfriend. We want to cook something together. The evening is nice and bright and I am happily distracted for a few hours. As I lay in bed, I turn ostentatiously on his stomach in order to feel this again very clear breast tenderness. It's gone. Funny.

(Continued )

Bollywwod Actresses Showing Boobs

hormone Carnival

I could not help it. No, not what you think. From the pregnancy test, I've stayed away, but with the birth date calculator, I've become weak. With an average cycle of 27 days and the first day of my period on 1 October 2010 is the child or children on 07.07.2011 at the world. What a brilliant date for a birthday! This can remember each and there is always the best summer weather. In my mind's eye I'm sitting with my little daughter (I think it's a girl!) To their third birthday in the sand of the sea, her hands and her mouth is smeared brown of the chocolate birthday cake.

The reason, rather, the two reasons that I've thrown my resolutions to the winds and yet I calculated the date of birth, my breasts. Last night before going to sleep they were so sensitive that I could not sleep in my usual prone position. When I noticed it myself, I went inside air jumps. A friend who last year received their child, once told me that they suspected your pregnancy already, because of the exciting breasts because they could no longer sleep on his stomach before it failed to rule.

I have already too often the birth dates of all and how great was the disappointment when the blood test was negative and has used the rule! At some point I swore never to do again before the pregnancy test is not positive. But now I'm so sure!

this morning, so this twenty-fifth day of the cycle, then I have also checked my nipples and they are clearly darker. A woman recognizes something once. I could hug all the people around me. Unfortunately, I'm sitting at work and my mostly male colleagues probably had little understanding of this. I write to my loved ones, who goes every morning before I left home, an email with the news. "Ui, ui, ui! and he sends me a smiley. Well, how can you work with such a hormone Carnival? The most sensible that I can do at this Arbeittag is my shelf.

(Continued )

Swot- Listerine Pocket Packs

TF +8

Now it is slowly exciting. Today is cycle day twenty-four, the transfer is eight days ago and my cycle is usually 26 to 28 days. This means that the bleeding could be used in two days, or maybe not. In the last two days I had pretty frequent pulling in the abdomen. It felt a bit like just before or during menstruation, but my days I did not get it. My breasts want to burst like, with only my bra it still seems to hold them.

When I want to strip me of my nightgown in the evening, I casually look to my naked breasts. Wait! Something on my chest is different than usual, it is a tiny detail in my right nipple. It seems to flake. Upon closer examination I discovered the same phenomenon at the left nipple. "Well at least they agree!" I think in silence.

Interestingly, I'm not at all tempted to make an early pregnancy test. The forums report the women who are in the queue of daily pregnancy tests. I resist it inside me, however, now even more money for these expensive tests or greater. Our account is already fleeced anyway. Maybe it's also because I knew as a child that my mom Christmas gifts stored in the bedroom closet. I may have once been before but I opened the closet before.

"I will also eventually allowed to hide Christmas presents for my child?"

(Continued )

Met Art Milena D Different Names

characters or fantasy? The Business

on day ten p.m. I remember the first time to realize that stretch my breasts. This is unüberfühlbar ! Even otherwise I could burst, not only the breasts but also on the belly. Exposure of the medication? I realize that the hormones play for, that I'm taking myself that I'm already pregnant. But it would the breasts stretch? The fertility and pregnancy forums have become my daily companion and I enjoy browsing for contributions to breast, clamping and early pregnancy. My search ends with the following result: There are enough explanations for this that I am pregnant and also enough about it. The desire of my heart for a positive response every time is abruptly dismissed from my brain, because it might reach the conclusion that only the blood test is the twenty-ninth day of the cycle provide a clear result. Until the blood test we have seven days. Seven days!

Because I must distract myself somehow, I visit my sister tonight. Since we both hunger, I suggest that you get a delicious Turkish pizza at the fast food we trust. In brief, I wonder if this is the right food for pregnant women, and come to the conclusion that a Turkish pizza contains enough fiber and many vitamins. Once in the Imbisbude, I give until my order and then have enough time to look around. In addition to the salad bar sits a woman with a stroller and feeding her infant with kebab ingredients. "The little one is all! Kebabs, Turkish pizza, even tzatziki." Tells me the man who prepared my food. "Aha!" I think "go together well." The man, who ordered before me his two chicken kebabs, says, "My are one and three years old and they love your kebabs." Both men laugh and then it comes sly for me: "And you have, and children" I asked the man behind the counter. Now all eyes are on me.

I hate this situation and it is far too often in my life. What I'm saying? "No, I'm (still) no children." This gives you always seem to suspicious look, and people think: "Aha, selfish Karriereweib the wishes to achieve at ease themselves..", Or something simpler: "Well, girls, remember, your clock is ticking," or "The may have not gotten, want to hear it due to her or him "Uahhhh


Since none of the truth: something is wrong with it." Perhaps, however, are fellow sufferers with advanced fertility among Imbisbudenbesuchern and they think "? I say finally, "It's just a baby on the way!" and add one plagued with a smile, "I do not know yet whether it is a girl or a boy." At that moment I decide never to go in this fast-food restaurant.

When my Turkish pizzas are ready and I will just flee through the door into the open, I notice a small pull in my lower abdomen. I think briefly held, forget everything around me and wonder to myself: "My dear little ones, are you still there?"

(Continued )

Age Of Empires 2 Cd 2.0a No Cd

Today is the twenty-first day of the cycle, and since my transfer are only two working days have passed. Nevertheless, I think already this morning the statement of the fertility clinic in the mailbox before. "They are pretty fast." I think . The accounts must have been sent out on the date of transfer or the next day when the mail brings me today. The smile of the Doctor and his assistant are suddenly a bitter aftertaste. Five bills are now on our kitchen table, which we expected but all that make up all at once but more than our bank account can handle right now. I remember now aware of only because I have signed for all treatments on the day of puncture . The ICSI-treatment, freezing, assisted hatching, and two blood tests.

Somehow I had it ignores the last three weeks that the infertility treatment is not only an emotional burden, but also a financial one. The hormones, which I had already bought in the pharmacy, have been completely empty our bank account and since the month has unfortunately four weeks, until next week come back fresh money. Small frown lines set on my face. I put the bills to which the carpenter and the city that gave me missed a ticket for illegal parking, and hope that the next content is higher in a miraculous manner than usual

When I just by the accounting batch turn away, I feel a very slight twitching in the lower abdomen. "What was that?" Do I know that feeling already? "I ask myself silently. No, on such a twitch in the vicinity of the uterus, I can not remember and dragging before or during the menstrual period this had no similarity. I log in on my computer and browse the Internet. It is incredibly difficult, the right keywords to find, for twitching and pulling plus pregnancy, provides all possible outcomes but only for five and later weeks of pregnancy. What the hell, because you could feel it in week three and four.

And finally I find an explanation that sounds plausible: "The uterus expands during early pregnancy, some women take this as a pulling or jerking true in the lower abdomen.." "That must be it!", I think and remember my heart beating faster. "In the early days, the sex, hair and eye color is determined," I continue to read. Although I do not want it, I'm considering whether the child is more like my husband or myself would come and how it would look good. I force myself to discard the idea again, because I know that this very idea of a sweet young is an exercise in despair when the pregnancy test is negative. For the blood test, it is still eight days. An eternity!

(Continued )

Simple Centerpieces Including An Ambulance

Nidationsblutung?

on day nineteen I discovered in the bathroom is a dark red spotting. Hello? What is that? There is little but loud and clear. The dark-red, tough, almost crumbly discharge of mine is just the latest under the microscope. I can still not get my period! I check the toilet paper three times thoroughly to how much grease is as announced. No, it remains fully in a pinch and now my thoughts revolve around possible explanations.

When I tell my husband about the incident, he said initially that he finds my explanation unerotic and that he used the term "spotting" in relation to my primary sexual organ is not again be heard. Typical man! Yes, my God, what shall I call it as, currant jelly? I rushed to my computer and begin to investigate. I've read about it somewhere on the Internet that are spotting during pregnancy, but after three days? Finally, I find one for me the most plausible-sounding explanation. The egg has implanted in the womb! This may lead to the so-called Nidationsblutung . Juhu! All other observations, the mean negative thing I would ignore them!

(Continued )